I wiped my eyes as I pulled down the visor to look in the mirror. I absolutely hated crying! My eyes would get puffy and red , my nose would run and not to mention I always felt stupid afterwards. I reached over and turned the music back up hoping to lighten the mood. Tommy reached over and turned it back down.
“What you do that for ?“ I asked lookin over at him
An awkward silence filled the car.
“ Now we’re going in circles … around and round … I know it seems hope can’t be found … I know seems like all hope is lost but baby girl that thought is false…. “
That’s right ya’ll I had me a singing nigga , who had no problem serenading me at the drop of a dime. One of the many reason why when I fell for him I fell soooo hard. I Absolutely loved me somebody who could express themselves through song . And he sounded thee fuckk good too ! I turned my head trying to hide the shyness that overwhelmed my being . If I haven’t said it before I’m tellin you now this man gave me butterflies. He made my insides and outsides do backflips.
He slide his fingers underneath my chin and turned my head back toward him so that now our eyes locked!
“Boy you better focus on driving “ I laughed pointing to the road infront of us.
“ I got this woman” he reassured me turning his head to look at the road and then back at me “ Now back to what I was saying ..
“ I know it seems like we’re growing apart but baby girl you have my heart , and my soul and body that’ll never change.. see my love for you will remain the same ….”
I sat there mesmerized hanging on to his every word … probably looking Goofy but at this point I did not care !! He was my baby and at that exact moment I was proud as hell to be his even if only temporary!
30 mins passed as the the vibes in the car went back to normal . We were back to singing and rapping every 90’s and 2000’s girl/guy duo you could name. Ashanti and Jarule “Mesmerized” blared through the speakers as we pulled into the parking lot of a rec center.
“ What we doin here “ I asked confused as hell.
“ just wait here I’ll be right back” he said jumping out the car.
I rolled my eyes and went back to singing . I sang to the top of my lungs not caring who stared me down as they walked to and from their car.
Tommy ran back to the car,knocked on the window and waved for me to come with him . I reached over, pulled the keys out of the ignition and jumped out the car. I snapped my fanny pack around my waist and grabbed his hand as we walked through the doors.
“ why are we here ? “ I asked again clearly annoyed I wasn’t getting an answer. He squeezed my hand as he led me through some double doors and down the stairs. A certain smell hit my nose as we approach a second set of doors.
“You ready?“he asked smiling from ear to ear
Ready for what I asked myself as he opened the door .
“ No way ?! Ice Skating!!” I couldn’t contain my excitement ! I had been talking about going Ice skating for years but never got around to going. This man paid soo much attention to me. He listened to me even when I thought he wasn’t. And that made me sooo happy. He wasn’t perfect but at this point he was perfect for me.
We walked over to the skate rental booth as a thought crossed my mind.. I NEVER did this before... I was going to bust my ass !!
“T you kno I never did this before right “
“ Me either “ he said shrugging his shoulders and laughing .. “guess we will bust our ass together “
See moments like this I knew I would cherish for ever and ever after that. Here I was in my 30’s and this man still had me feeling giddy like a school age girl. Yes he “belonged “ to someone else but on the Weekend he was mine and that’s all that mattered. . When Monday rolled around reality would set in . We would go back to our separate lives our separate families that we were apart of. Putting on a facade for personal gains , advancements and images. Moments like this helped me through the less pleasant times. I held on tight to these moments as I would lay next to a man who did not value me. As I would live a life that was soooo forced but would never fit. As I would live my life day to day unhappy. Moments like this meant EVERYTHING.
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